Whats wrong?
You just think you’re getting better and all of a sudden everything’s worse, you know? Or, in my case, it gets so bad you can’t keep your personalities straight anymore.
March 2012
205 posts
Well,
No, I’ve just been here for too long. Maybe I should be the doctor here. Might as well get paid for something.
Yeah…what are your others? I’m curious.
How long have you been here, exactly? I concur. I’d much rather talk to you than to another fucking shrink.
As of right now, there’s Scarlett, Gwen and Charlie. All pretty fucking different. And as I’m sure you already know, Charlie is just a joy.
Well,
No one more worthy than my fat ass. So what did you do to get some solitary confinement?
Ha. I scoff at your statement. Although, you are pretty worthy. Maybe. I can’t exactly remember, but I’m willing to bet something one of the personalities said was enough to earn my ass some time in a cell alone.
Well,
Don’t call me that. Samantha.
Nice to meet you, Samantha. Though I liked ‘sunshine’ a lot better. There’s your smile. Welcome to Preston.
Well,
No, no. I was just concerned for a bit, before I realized you had DID.
But you did startle everyone else, yeah.
You recognized it? I’m impressed. Do you read up on psychotic disorders, or do you just have an extensive knowledge when it comes to the mind of a crazy?
Well, shit. Charlie, right?
Well,
I flipped the fuck out. Don’t remember most of it, but I woke up in a storage closet and managed to sneak back into my room. It was wrecked, but I managed to clean it up somewhat.
Yeah. You missed all the entertaining things.
Looks like you’ve outdone it this time, Phillips. Next time, just give me some sort of heads-up so that I can grab a fucking front row seat, or you know, be there at least.
Well,
It was just an excuse to eat cake I admit. I actually didn’t give them any.
Suckers.
I like the way you think. Ain’t nobody worthy enough to give the damn cake to.
Well,
Are you ok? Last night was kind of eventful…
Last night?.. Oh, right. I have, uh, different personalities and they sometimes like to show themselves at inopportune moments. The perks of DID. I wasn’t too hard on you, was I?
Well,
You have to bribe them for them to come out of hiding. I have to use cake to get some of them to talk to me.
Pfft, I’m not wasting cake on the likes of them. They’ll be forced to show themselves soon enough.
Well,
You missed me flipping out today. If you see orderlies with bruises, that’s my work.
I always fucking miss the good stuff! Curse my bad luck. Ah, I should have known- a group of them were all bitching about a patient today. Job well done.
Well,
who knew someone could miss so damn much while being retained in solitary?
We have some new recruits, I see. Come forth!
He had just witnessed a full-on transition. To say he was excited would have been too morbid, interested was more appropriate. He leaned forward, his eyes concerned. “Scarlett or Ava?” He asked, making sure. Though, he was sure it was Ava again. Her eyes glistened with same sparkle they had before. There wasn’t a peering, hungry gaze slicing inside his – for what it’s worth—soul. The next time, he told himself, he would record it and show it to Ava it was the only way for her to be truly aware of her transitioning.
“How many personalities do you have?” Austin asked, flipping through her file again. The most recent count was three, but he knew these things changed periodically.
Ava, as fierce as she was, proved to be just as scared as anyone. She had this disorder she couldn’t control, which had to make living a normal life hard. It would have driven anyone crazy given the chance. Ava was the main one, though. Ava was her given name. Ava was the original personality, the basis of which the other two projected from. “Alright,” he mumbled to himself.
Scarlett was a whole new ballgame. She was fearless and confident. She projected an entirely ideal version of any girl. Insecure girls often felt like they needed to be over the top to be accepted, which was exactly what Scarlett proved to be.
Nonetheless, Austin was grateful to be dealing Ava again. Scarlett almost pushed his button to the very core. He couldn’t let that happen again. The next time she transitioned to Scarlett, the session would be closed off.
He looked at his watch again, ten minutes.
The way Austin was regarding her was making Ava’s blood boil- and not in a good way. It was the same look that all of the other fucking shrinks had when they witnessed a transition; awe and concern and an excitement of sorts, to see more, to get to the bottom of what she was dealing with. It all just reminded her of when things started to go awry in her life- when the paparazzi quickly became blood hounds and everyone just wanted more, more, more from her.
His next question snapped her out of her daze and she replied dryly, “Ava at your service. Scarlett seems to have left us high and dry today.” Ava pondered the question carefully; there had been three the last time she had taken count- Gwen, Scarlett and Charlie. “Three, all of which I’m sure you’ll be seeing soon.”
Drastic transitions always tired her out and today was no exception, but the fire inside of her hadn’t died and if she had anything to do with the situation, it never would. Another thing she hated about her little brand of psychosis, among many, was the perception that she hid behind these personalities. They were her, sure as fucking anything. All just projections of what lay beneath her barriers.
“Scarlett really made you nervous, huh?” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement and they both knew it. “Don’t think that just because I transition into what seems to be another person, I don’t have their traits, doc. All of what Scarlett said, what I said, was true. ” Ava regarded the gorgeous man before her carefully- the same intensity that Scarlett had fixed him with. “You have a secret, Austin. No surprise there, every living person on this planet does. But does yours have anything to do with the way you look at me?” Ava scoffed at Austin’s almost indignant expression; he could run, but he couldn’t hide from her prying gaze. “Don’t bull shit me, doc. Honesty is the best policy, isn’t it? But the offer still stands, Jamison. I could help you- if you let me. All that sexual repression must not be healthy.” As she uttered the words, a mixture of what seemed to be a smile and smirk crossed her features.
You should all just shut the fuck up.
Seriously… what is your issue?
I.. I don’t know..
You should all just shut the fuck up.
Do you know what you’re here for, Charlie?
Not a fucking clue. Care to enlighten me? Since you seem to know so fucking much.
You should all just shut the fuck up.
If you think I’m above hitting a girl, you’re wrong.
Ooooh, I’m shaking.
